Choosing to Cheat

Recently, one of our church planters announced in my presence that the book, "Choosing to Cheat," by Andy Stanley had revolutionized his ministry.  I was delighted to hear it.  We give that book to all of our church planters when they attend "Focused Living for Church Planters," the preliminary training event to our Basic Training experience.  The premise of the book is simple:  every person has the same amount of time at his or her disposal.  The choices we make with our time will prioritize certain responsibilities and roles we have, while cheating others.  Stanley reminds us not to cheat our wife and families of the priority use of our time.  It's that important.

Why do we send this message to our church planters as they begin this journey?  Two reasons: church planting is the most labor-intensive ministry calling in North America today, and the planter's spouse is the most neglected, and yet in some ways, most vital person in the entire church planting journey.

My experience, having done student ministry, campus ministry, pastoring, serving as an associate and as a denominational worker at both the associational and state convention levels, is that NOTHING compares to the time, the intensity and the pressures of church planting.  Over and over I've seen and heard stories of planters who have burned out or been beaten up by the rigors of church planting.  The pressures are enormous, so planters have to be reminded that God has given them a prior, more significant calling: to their wife and their children.  They must set firm boundaries around their family time and protect it at all costs.  This is necessary for their physical, as well as spiritual, well-being.

The key to a healthy planter is a healthy wife and children.  And that's not going to happen if they are neglected, or allow some other role or relationship to invade the priority God has placed in each planter's heart for them.  While others can replace a planter in every other responsibility he has in life, NO ONE ELSE can replace him as husband and father of his family.  If he loses them, he loses everything.

So, choose to cheat!  You have my blessing, and permission, to spend time with your wife and family, to enjoy each other, to celebrate life together, to get away and play...all of which is vitally necessary to your sanity and the stability of MINISTRY as well as your MARRIAGE.